Shameful dreams

I don't beleive in them
All my life, I was told
It's impossible, you're a loony
Those dreams won't come true

When you asked me once
What are my dreams
I answered what I was told
Like a good girl

I'm so sorry, if I lied
It's so hard to trust
That what I have inside
Is important, worthwhile

Through your love
I tried to follow my heart
To give him a chance
To spread my wings

But, all I finally did
Is to lose the reasons
Why I have the courage
To wake up and live

Nothing remains except
That shame around me
Full of gloomy regrets
A life without meaning

Then, at the end, fighting
To overcome my pain
I found out inside of me
The words of my dreams

Expédition

Les yeux fermés, le coeur sans réception
Recroquevillé en lui-même, absorption
Emmurré dans ses entraiiles, alinéation
Il ressasse sans cesse ce passé, agitation
Frisson transit de peur, démolition
Il se laisse impressionner, abdication
Par sa douleur, suffocation
Encore et encore, accumulation
En fait le centre de sa vie, fixation
Une auto-flagellation, libération
Un geste désespéré, extirpation
D'un destin malheureux, prolongation
Il cherche la transcendance, prospection
Fouille et fuit sa mémoire, répétition
À la recherche d'un petit trésor perdu,
D'un paradis qui ne fut pas, extinction
Une promesse non tenue, exilation
Frappé de réalité, stupéfiction
État de choc, liquéfaction
J'attends la trame lourde, lacération
Je la ressens, la vit, synchronisation
Je l'accompagne, avec émotion
Je suis une ombre, discrétion
Chemin de croix, crispation
Sacrifice utile? épuration
L'impardonnable à soi, immolation
Un pieu dans le coeur, suppuration
Et ne le laisse pas en paix, expiation
Il voyage aux enfers, détention
Un allez-simple, réglementation
Nul ne peut le rejoindre, pressurisation
En silence, présente, contribution
Je n'abandonne pas, continuation
En amie, je suis mon coeur, exhortation
J'irai même aux enfers, imperfection
Besoin de vivre, malgré l'insatisfaction
Exhaltation ou décompensation
C'est sans démission, avec conviction
Jusqu'au bout, sans culpabilisation

Grieving

When life learned you to be strong
When you reached your deepest darks
When you are so alone that, in fact
It doesn't matter anymore, you're lost
Somewhere in your own mind.
You continue to struggle to live
That daily routine that doesn't make sense
There is no other way then to be strong
Again and again, to try to cope with
That abhorrent lonlyness of yours
Again and again, to try to defeat
That desperate destiny that lead
Nowhere you want to be
Your own insignifiance overwhelm you
There is nothing else to do
Except to be strong again and again
To try to give the best of you
This last part of you, this conscience
That, at least, never leave you in peace
And remind you that you are still alive
That what you feel exist, and a whisper
Deep and secretly in your heart
That you're your own savior
Everything wigh upon your shoulders
No one can help you better than yourself
How to face this reality? No, no, no...
I don't want to deal with that
I don't want to believe it's true
How can I leave hope and trust?
But, to trust in myself? But, to trust in others...
But, to ditch all the why I'll never know
Time will alleviate my sorrow
But, today, I don't want to hear it
I want to take long, to hang around
To be weak, to cry, to let it goes.

Muddle

Don't play with me, don't push too far
Try to fuck me, pull me out
You have to chose, with or without
You can't have all, impossible

You throw me out, you decided
No future, can't bear me more
Why do you play with my heart?
Fucking slut! I love you

Don't you see that you hurt me
My heart bleed, I try not to cry
You beat around, I fall in love
You never charmed as you do

You flirt better then before
You smile, you touch, don't play with me
What you search : my respect lost
I can't accept what you do

All I have is self-respect
I love myself more than you
You'll reach the hardest colds
Privileges, try to win them

With or without, not in between
If you love me, out of my way
I deserve better than that
Baby, I'm not angry but hurted

You have to chose, you can't have all
I know it, I feel it
I make you feel so love
You can't hide it, chose your heart

Taboo

I would like to say... all what is stuck
Deep inside of me like a rejected part
The shaded part, what others force me
To left behind, to hide and leave

How this drives me Insaine
How this distorts who I am

A long way to live searching my refugees
Trying to bring them back, let them exist
I found them with bleeding eyes
Oppressed minds, feared to the heart

I would like to care... to protect and love
To share what they are, to show this to all
That fucking society we live in, makes us
Like automates with forbiden stories

Day to day living as a dead drill
Where no emotion is enabled to be
A repetitive industry that never let you
Sleep, rest or smile, a non-stopping night

How this drives me Insaine
How this distorts... Who am I?

But is there anyone who want to hear?
I'm so alone, my life is empty
Like a black hole that suck everything
And never give back, anything is lost

The only bit of hope that remains open
Is that beating heart who remind me
I am still alive, sun still raise
Each morning is a new day

My eyes met yours, they are so mysterious
I wonder if... who are their refugees?
Can we be together Phoenix refugees
Broken then reborned once again

How this drive me Insaine
How this distorts who you are

Don't be so shy, don't rest too silent
Tell me all, I still wait to meet you
To finally reach you who are
This soul of you that I love

Please, just tell me what is inside
Let it goes, free yourself
Come with me, let the world
Open to us as two free souls

Ready to discover how we can
Stronger together, build a society
Where all refugees will be respected
Will deserve to be there, here, alive

How this drives me Insaine
How this distort... Who are you?

Le silence

Les mots d'entre-nous
Restent une page blanche
Un hiver désert : univers
Froid, grand, vide, seul

Les étoiles brillent
Le soleil course, mais
Le temps file, mille miles
Et nous sommes Montagnes

Élan vers l'avant
Pas en arrière
Geste de travers
J'entre sous terre

Comme seules les cavernes
Pleines de secrets regrets
Ne voient pas le jour
Nous restons deux, seuls

À distance, en constance
À vue, fiers, jaugeants
Le coeur en creux
Là où l'eau tombe

Désir et misère se buttent
Aux cols érigés
En guise de limites
Aux territoires de nos âmes

Larmes de feu, brûlure
Lame de glace, coupure
Âme défiante, ceinture
À la gorge, m'étrangle

Élan vers l'avant
Pas en arrière
Geste de travers
J'entre sous terre
 
Crois-tu que les torrents
Nés de nos souterrains
Puissent se rejoindre
Dans la valéee d'entre-nous?

Ou le courrant sera-t-il
Si fort et si puissant
Qu'il emportera tout
Même nos coeurs?

 

 

Je suis en paix

J'ai trouvé en moi

Le sens des silences

Et leur importance

Deux regards

L'un dans l'autre

 

Et l'absence

Ce vide de mots

Yeux baisés

Regard fuyant

Mains occupées

Oreilles attentives

 

Un mot dur, vif

Rapide comme l'éclair

Fend le silence

Et tranche

Un deuxième, fin

Attente, enfermés

 

Chacun pour soi

Comme des forteresses

Dont la clef est faite

De silences

Et peut-être de temps

...

Four à tuiles

Jours sur jours, en piles fragiles
Sourd à soi, sur une île
Le lourd labour débile : péril

Pour ou contre : les villes refilent
Des tourments en files immobiles
Séjour bourré de misiles inutiles

Course au cours mobile qui, fertile,
Pourrit ou nourrit? Docile, j'oscille
Mourir gourde du stérile ainsi-soit-il

Sans Amour, la vie difficile mutile
Sans Sourires, je suis imbécile
Courage : assimile et ventile !